Yesterday started off wonderfully. My daughter's 6th birthday! I got up early, brought fresh coffee upstairs to supplement the package ripping present extravaganza. Smiles and laughter. warm hugs and kisses. She's so strong and healthy, beautiful and smart. I'm so proud of her. breakfast, cake making, food packing followed - a day at the beach planned and in prep..... too much activity - dizziness, pain, I crumple in a chair and try to look peaceful. This is a happy day - I will not crumble! fishing is planned and it looks like I'm being excluded "just me and daddy..."ok, probably best".... husband sees my state, steps in and takes over. Then I'm back in (so the dog can come... hummm ok). Sound is becoming painful, can I do this? Inhale, hold, exhale, things look brighter, broader, and in greater perspective. Mood lightens and we gather together.
The day is good, down to a St Marks hide-away. gorgeous... yet the resident bug population appears to have been starving before our arrival. a long walk back to the car. We sing songs of bugs and poo and laugh the steps away. I'm tired, not sleepy, just confused and weak. It's ok, look peaceful and content. The evening is filled with cake, ice cream, and friends. By 8:30 I'm reaching for my head and bidding what I hope is a graceful good night.
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