Escape plans,
Lookout points.
I've now incorporated many along the way, planned it out. Imagined. Moved from worse case scenarios, to feeling with delicate fingertips, back along the path, for the line, the bump, the point of no return. So I can recognize it, spot it, before it passes me by.
My goal is no longer to get everyone their present.
My goal is to make it through Christmas unharmed
AND
To save enough energy to ensure my daughter has a good time.
This may mean I don't do anything beyond celebrating Christmas morning at home, then sending hubby and daughter off to family. I could not go to Pensacola on Christmas evening and miss the two day visit. I could not go to Panama City on Christmas day to visit grandparents. I could not even visit with my parents and Aunt on Christmas eve. I could pull the plug at any stop, head home, hunker down, breathe. Though I want to do all those things, good food, reconnect, I'm fine with not, for this year, and that feels so good...
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4 comments:
You got it sorted Ample. Only took you 25 minutes too;) Your daughter doesn't want to see you unravel and nor do I;)
I am feeling the Christmas clamp and I can only imagine what it must be like for you.
I wish I could write like you at times. You say so much in just the right amount of words......Love it:)
I am so glad to have my quiet & empty flat to go back to at the end of the day!.........Bliss......mostly.
You take it easy now:)
Jae
We always tend to want to do it all...sometimes what's best is to do it part.
Peace.
More than 25 min... that's just when I got them typed in (I tend to write in a journal first - old fashioned I know), more like 8 hours... but that's still pretty good, huh? Feeling much better about the whole thing... now that it may be parts or none at all... ahhh sweet taste of freedom, bliss of personal control.
Hey... the old bag! Parts is Peace. You got it.
:-]
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