Thursday, August 16, 2007
Fifth cookie break down
I'm seeking something else from food. What is it? And how can I get, whatever it is, without actually eating this calorie ridden food, of which I don't actually want! I'm serious. I'm contemplating the fifth cookie here. And I'm feeling that desire for "something else" sort of thing... some empty sort of hole thing... What is it? What do I actually want here? I'll take it! What?!
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5 comments:
A new idea???
Ample- I know exactly what you're talking about and I have to say that I'm not sure any of us ever find that -whatever- it is that we yearn for to fill our soul. Well, maybe the Dali Lama does.
But it's that yearning that keeps us moving towards a bettering of ourselves and thus, the world.
Whatever it is that makes you feel more fulfilled (a very feminist word, as a friend pointed out to me once), you'll discover it. Then, your job is take the time to do it. It might be writing, it might be running, it might be painting, it might be breeding tomatoes. I don't know.
But it's part of being human and the important thing is to recognize and honor the yearning.
So maybe that's the problem then. Homemaker is only a problem once it overshadows that time for your own project. (Art, Poetry, Online porn ventures, whatever it is that gives you that sense of personal development and nourishment.)
I think the homemaker (man or woman right!) needs a period of time off without leaving the "job sight".
Maybe designate it with a funny hat. I'm picturing something big and pirate-like with feathers coming out. And for ___ hours a week, mom is not a helper/cooker/question-answerer, she is the wearer of the funny hat. And that way, when somebody sees Mommy in the kitchen getting herself a nice cup of coffee, they'll see the big ass hat and NOT ask for that favor that was already falling out of their lips. And Mommy will blithly skip back to whatever it was she was doing with zero responsibility for the rest of the world for that time period! Just a thought. But any excuse to wear a silly hat tho right?
I can't help but remember once when I was trying to create time and space to write. My husband (the saint) had me a small office built that was a little ways from the house and I carefully explained to the children that when I was out there that I didn't want to be interrupted, to tell people who called that I would call back later, etc.
My youngest daughter, who was probably about eight then said, "Mommy, can we come get you if it's something really important?"
And I said, "Like what?"
And she said, "Like if we run out of ketchup?"
Funny hat, I like it. Running out of ketchup, sounds like the mind set I'm working with: pure, honest, innocent, and forever surrounded by a beautiful safety net. Such wonderful times :)
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