By mid morning I was on the back porch assuming the fetal position.... Damn! I'm just so close. I want to be done. I want to be better, to taste it, so bad, that the excitement carries me away, zip zan, I got plans! Just enough lift for me to forget, for just a moment, to deny the warning bells, faint and familiar. Mentally I fought and argued, but, but, but I want... WANT, the Ego resisting reality... futile, so futile. So down I went and cried and cried and cried and cried (for the last time?). "Just take it easy" soothed my hubby, "Soon enough you will be all better." But, but, but not today...
The concept was tested again, later in the day. This time I passed.
Down on the flood plain,
Where the creek meets the river,
I allowed myself the desire to wander,
And accepted my resting spot.
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7 comments:
You have enough left to score a knock-out tomorrow, then I'd kick it once in the nuts, while it's down and out, just for fun, and then dance around the ring!
You would ;)... but I think I've just got enough to flick a bird, then maybe growl a little...
Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in
And some more lyrics for you on the day before you bid farewell to the dark clouds of treatment. These are from the Stereophonics:
Been down and Im wondering why
These little black clouds keep walking around with me, with me
Waste time and Id rather be high
Think Ill walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile but be free, be all free
So maybe tomorrow Ill find my way home
I look around at a beautifiul life
I been the upper side of down; been the inside of out but we breathe, we breathe
I wanna a breeze and an open mind
I wanna swim in the ocean, wanna take my time for me, its all free
So maybe tomorrow Ill find my way home
I know it's early, but congrats!
and this too shall pass......remember the worst time? they are gone away...in the wake of the wind
I'm counting hours with you. What time is the "last minute"?
HEY ELTON! Can you believe Elton John stopped by my blog!?! (lol) thanks Chris... for the laugh and the lyrics... maybe tomorrow I will find my way home...
And Crystal! My roomie... you are right... in the wake of the wind... thanks for your words.
Teastar... Depends on when I get home after dropping my daughter off at my parents (possibly 6:30ish) and how long it takes me to inject (I still do a lot of pacing around, all-time record: 29min). So the last min? I don't know when... but I sure I'll be cring or laughing... or both...
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