Wednesday morning, 9/27/06
Dream works
Series of stuck dreams last night: stuck in waist deep mud, stuck in glue, falling building, dangerous weather, crowded sleeping arrangements. All scenarios were filled with weakness, confusion, fear, limited success. Till the final scene: darkened beach, wet salty air, crouching in the shadows listening to instructions. This is to be a special ops training (were the others too?). My mentor was also to be my attacker. He was to use all means possible to stop me, debilitate me, break me, he explained. Then suddenly the game began. I was confused, fearful, weak. Then I saw the raft. My husband stepping ashore, holding the rope line, the raft rocking innocently in the black surf. This was my target and I suddenly realized, if I made it to the boat, all of the games would end. No more pain, it would all be over, for sure. I'd float gently to safety.
My attacker raged against me, struck, clung to me. I couldn't get separated. If I threw him aside, he'd spring back refreshed. I watched the boat, had to touch it. Sudden fierce strength filled my bones, raised my form and gripped his strangled body high above my head. I ran towards the the shore. If I could get close enough, I could fling him aside and lunge for the boat. Husband watching, other forms observing along the beach. They couldn't assist me now, but they won't interfere. I'm getting closer and feeling stronger. There will be split second timing, minuscule chance of easy success and I'm fully committed. So close. He desperately strikes at my heart, I feel warm liquid, but no pain. I am determined. I see the boat.
Needless to say, I'm home today. Just me and the dog. I'm going to float along gently without all the struggle.
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