It's hard to let go of Fridays, when my sides are finally manageable, when I've lightly brushed the concept of mobility, maybe even felt a spot of physical strength. I often lie in bed and observe the "last day till tomorrow". Sleeping means it's over. It's a decision to wake up. Just a little while longer, I look around, take in a few breaths.
Then it's Saturday, the worn pillbox, and the hole. I'll wake slowly, assessing my physical state, checking parts. I'll have just a few more hours till it really sets in, till the combination kicks, speech fails me, skies darken, I retreat into my hermit nature, and no pain relief will erase it.
Saying good bye to these moments every week. Only five more to go.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
my blog of Hep C - starting 5 months into treatment, 6 months post, and on to SVR.
Ample
About Me
Healthy, strong, optimistic, and still surprised to learn I had Hepatitis C for who knows how long (viral load 11,700,000; genotype 1b). But finally after some seriously big decisions, 48 weeks of killing treatment, and 6 months of waiting, I'm now SVR (as of 9/21/07) and that means I did it.
Blog Archive
-
▼
2007
(195)
-
▼
January
(30)
- Pancakes
- Quite manageable
- Pit relief
- The Elvis wobble
- Letting go
- Nine muffin
- Just a little while longer
- ahhh the lessons
- Stop it
- Continuous feed
- Take it
- Cautious
- Once again
- Holding my breath
- Another 3/4 dose
- Marking another first
- Visual play
- Here and now
- Good, good, good
- All done
- Terrible turd intrusion
- I want
- Hand my baby over
- It's weird
- Language warning
- Reaching
- Stone in my belly
- Forgetting
- Supermom
- Six to seven
-
▼
January
(30)
Labels
- 10th month of Tx (30)
- 11th month of Tx (31)
- 12 month of Tx (4)
- 5th month of Tx (6)
- 6th month of Tx (21)
- 7th month of Tx (30)
- 8th month of Tx (27)
- 9th month of Tx (33)
- alcohol (3)
- dreams (10)
- fast (1)
- fasting (8)
- favorite (4)
- first posting (1)
- first running log (1)
- floating (14)
- hair loss (4)
- photo (2)
- poems (96)
- recovery 1st month (22)
- recovery 2nd month (17)
- recovery 3rd month (15)
- recovery 4th month (21)
- recovery 5th month (21)
- recovery 6th month (22)
- recovery final (12)
- reduced dose (7)
- SVR (1)
- The Headache (10)
- visual disturbance (10)
Sites to See
- Funny Blood (SVR)
- Hep C forum (hep)
- Liver Log (SVR)
- Me (hep tx)
- Minerva's Blog
- My Hep C Adventure (hep tx)
- Show me the movie that doesn't deal in black and white (SVR)
- The Swamp Momalogues (hep tx)
- an uncertain journey through HCV (SVR)
- here are the young men, the weight on their sholders - The Mighty C (SVR)
- teastarwitch - my hep c diary (hep tx)
2 comments:
Having just read your latest post, I can totally see what you're saying.........then not, at exactly the same time. I know I am finding it much easier and so much wish that that wasn't the case. I just simply cannot imagine what you must be going through.......and others like you. Why me? Why did I get away with the sides? I don't feel too grateful at all........just very selfish!
It is a difficult post to read! It is exactly the kind of stuff that prompted me to write that poem "The Delicate Art of You More Than Me". I wish there was something I could do to help! It's not fair.........I will probably.....Know it actually, forget all about this tx some time soon, even if the outcome is bad. But I am willing to bet that you will remember this for the rest of your life!
You are so much stronger than I will ever be Ample!! If I had the same feelings as yours whist on tx, I would have failed right at the beginning.......I know it!
Please don't think that I don't think about you guys whilst I am out on my bike on a Friday/Sunday.......because I do.....so much!
Hang in there........
Jae
Right, right, very familiar, checking myself when wake up, observing what it brought this time... Sucks, but only 5 to go...
Post a Comment