Friday, January 19, 2007

Take it

Spoke to my other doc, the doc, my treatment doc, neutrophils bounced back up, but red blood cells are hanging low low (yeah I new that, thanks). So a full dose tonight. OK. Back in the swing. Got things to do, only one a fore sure (get my daughter to my mom's), the rest may fall. Realignment with the hubby this morning, ended only slightly better than it began. Treatment's tough on everybody. OK and I'm doing better than I could be (I am calm, with self assured speech). I'm one tough chick and when I say I can't do something it's because I simply can't, honest, innocent. No double meaning, no inside jab, no bitter dance of resentment, nothing, just another performance failure that I've come to terms with. So there. Take it. I am.

3 comments:

TeaStarWitch said...

You can't do it, but others think you're faking it, right? That's what I mean when say, if you look the same, they think you are the same. And for some reason you feel guilty, because you can't perform what others expect from you. I wish them have one shot of Interferon.

Ample said...

Yep.... I find it resurfaces over and over, for them and for me. I struggle with guilt, but it's gotten easier and easier to get past (only 42 weeks of practice under my belt, hope I've learned something!). I received the "make-up call" (not the same as make-up sex, but close) about four hours into the day. Not a bad turn around - I guess he's had 42 weeks of practice as well. Ah... such an insightful year... wild.

Not Blank said...

Oh, I don't know...I get turned on hearing a man say the words "I'm sorry!"
Having a husband while on treatment is like having a child, so I only have one child, you both have two!
Screw the guilt!