Monday, November 13, 2006

Crash wall

Breezy morning.
Talked into switching daughter and guest room - carried away by her enthusiasm, intoxicated by the chance to thin out her stuff.
Dragged shelves, mattresses, books, what?
10:45 am, end of peak.
Dragged some more - unsure of details: barely adequate behavior, one short blow up, the rest foggy.
2:36 pm, reached crash wall.
4:48 pm, still hurting real bad, slow mo.

Was it worth it, for the one bag of cleared junk, for the room 1/2 done, guest room furniture lining the hall, upheaval, disarray? Probably not, but I won't commit. That's just too harsh for me right now. I'm hurting, heavy, and my daughter wants to change it back. No go, I go. I'm one tiny step from the edge... yet I feel oddly secure... a tiny stone to cling to? A whale size vision? Just being cool with it... survival mode.

2 comments:

TeaStarWitch said...

Ample, what is it you're doing lately? First was a sofa, now it's whole room? Do you feel stronger or it's just a whale-ims?
Keep it strong :)
Love and light
Tea

Ample said...

Pushing limits I suppose... Never cried once though, and that's unusual for me lately. So... today I am sore, a little extra tired, but not at the bottom (nice surprise). I really think the Whale image has helped me. When I start to spin out, I exhaule and the Whale surfaces. Whatever works, right?