Thursday, November 30, 2006

Walk, walk, walk...

I do a lot of walking away, legs carry me out at the first sign of sparks, acutely aware of the flames licking the back of my eyelids, dangerous smoke signals puff from my hair. I've seen the carnage from my toxic rage and it hurts worse than self control, so I walk away, breathing, silently talking myself down. I yi yi yi... look out the window, birds, wind, leaves....

Doesn't matter what ignites it, on these meds, it can be anything. Though spilled juice is always good for a quick exit, and marker on the table, and any statement that remotely pisses me off, and loud noises (like my favorite plates hitting together), and singing, even singing... The heat rushes, chest bursting, head flames, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, fast, NOW!

Roll the neck, breathe deep, look out the window, make a face, let the stretch over power the heat, welcome the silent words, compose, compose, write and I write, silent salvation, to be safe... oh, to be safe.

2 comments:

Not Blank said...

Think you're doing the right thing by exercising your stressful times away. wish I had the energy to do the same.

Ample said...

We're talking one room to the next... that's about it. I haven't walked off the front porch in days...

and the stretching... that's all face expressions... you know like a silent screaming mime. Looks crazy I'm sure, but I'm faceing out a window and hey... it works for me